by Renata Andrade on October 21, 2017
It’s October 2016, I get a letter from NYSED – New York State Education Department denying my application for the license to practice counseling. I was distraught. I’d been waiting for that letter for a year, after tons of work to get all the documentation necessary certified in 2 countries, not to mention the cost of it all, and there it was. All my studies and experiences in 2 other countries weren’t good enough here. Bang. I have a history with that, I’ve already qualified and started a practice in 2 different countries. Then we moved again… It’s very much how it goes in the life of an expat partner.
This experience of starting from scratch every few years shook me to the core. Again? Am I really going to have to give up my dreams and just follow my husband’s career? I was so angry and just wanted to shout loud that I was qualified! I thought about giving up and settling for taking care of my family which is a pretty big job already. But I don’t want to.
The pivotal point for me happened a year ago when I decided to stop fighting the waves and dive into my shaken core. So, I with great support from my fabulous therapist-coach-mentor, I was able to strip down from the title, the status, and my prejudices, and connect with the essence of what I love doing: helping people through conversations that change how they feel about themselves. Bingo! What was stopping me was not NYSED but my own beliefs of how it should look like. I could do what I love in a different format. This is not the first time I’ve thought about coaching, I’ve trained before and did some coaching over the years. But being my good student self, I wanted to make sure I studied a methodology of coaching in more depth so I trained as a professional coach. I fought my own negative voices about it like “everyone can be a coach after a weekend course,” my guilt about investing on yet another expensive and extensive training program, and focusing my energy on a practice that can be portable and fit my life.
You see, it may seem kind of obvious for someone who is looking from the outside, but it was a sticky process for me to step out of my certainties to see differently. And it has been invaluable to have professional help along the way.
These are some of the main questions that have been guiding me.
- What is essential for me to keep?
- How do I want to feel?
- What if I am the one stopping myself now?
- How can I get out of my own way?
- Who do I need to help me figure this out?
- What do I really need to do in order to be able to offer my contribution to the world?
Since then, I’ve been finding this energy to focus, I’ve been learning and practicing, and experiencing some pretty darn good synchronicities that have been encouraging me that I am on the right path. It’s feeling easier and lighter.
There is A LOT of work involved and a long road ahead. I’ve been coaching individuals, groups and I’m working on the official launch of my coaching business. I’m taking some tough decisions to stop doing things in order to fit this work into my life. I’m so engaged I lose track of time preparing group sessions and I’m bugging my friends and family with my constant talking about work. I have many questions about how to be present online without creating just more noise in an already loud world. But not only I can see the road now, I’m riding it.
“Now is all there is.”
Get in touch! Book a free coaching call here and let’s talk about your road.